Insecurities
by CopperPrincess
Summary: We are told what qualities an ideal bride and perfect man possess. Now see how Mulan and Shang stack up against these standards! This story is dedicated to everyone who thinks they aren't good enough - YOU ARE BEAUTIFUL AND PERFECT AS YOU ARE.
1. Mulan

_Hello there! Thanks for checking out my story. If you enjoy the story, please leave a "like". As always, reviews are loved and appreciated! Happy reading!_

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 _Men want girls with good taste…_

Mulan could only stand as perfectly still as possible while the two seamstresses flurried about her, bringing piece after piece of cloth and applying it quickly and ably to her body. She didn't think the colors and patterns had any rhyme or reason to them at all and felt a momentary flutter of panic that these women were sabotaging her chances at the matchmaker's. However, when she looked in the full length mirror on the other side of the room, she saw the way the colors complemented each other and her figure. She sighed. She'd never understand fashion.

 _Calm..._

Mulan was in a good panic now. It was the day before she was to meet with the village matchmaker. The woman was well-known for being incredibly hard on the women who came to her seeking good matches. Girls were expected to perform a perfect tea ceremony, have impeccable manners, be beautiful and silent, and be able to make polite small-talk, including the memorization of certain passages of literature and poetry. Mulan had tried to study for the test, she really had, but by the end of the day, she was exhausted from all of her chores and they could not afford to waste candles, so more often than not, she had skipped her memorization practice. Now she was paying for that mistake. Oh, yes – she was in a good panic now.

 _Obedient..._

"Mulan, I told you to feed the chickens, collect the eggs, wash the dog, and take Khan into town to get new shoes. What of these chores have you done today?" her mother asked. It wasn't really a question, though, Mulan knew. Her mother already knew the answer – none of these chores had gotten done, and Mulan had no good answer to give.

"I did feed the chickens, Mama," Mulan tried to make light of the situation.

"By tying the seed corn to the dog!" her mother scolded. "A wasteful cutting of corners as well!"

"I'm sorry, Mama," Mulan replied, bowing low.

"Sorry doesn't provide us eggs for our breakfast tomorrow," her mother sighed. "There is still a little light left. Go get the eggs and put the chickens back in the coop for the night. And Mulan…"

"Yes, Mama?" Mulan asked softly, afraid of what her mother would add.

"No daydreaming this time," her mother said. Mulan's eyes widened, but she nodded quickly and scampered off to finish these tasks before night properly fell. Her mother watched her go, shaking her head. Her daughter wasn't deliberately testing her, she knew, but some days, she really wondered about Mulan's attention to orders given.

 _Who work fast-paced..._

Once again, Mulan was running late. It wasn't her fault, though. The sunrise had been so beautiful that morning, she just had to stop and watch it fill the sky with amazing colors. By the time she realized the sun was well and truly in the sky, it had made her behind on her chores. A perfectionist by nature, Mulan could not stand to see a job poorly done, which meant taking her time and doing it correctly. But doing things to perfection was slow work. She was the best horse rider in the entire village, but only because she had spent more time with Khan than with her own family during the day training him. She sighed as she finished cleaning up the incense sticks from the family temple and replaced them just so with brand new ones. No matter that she had a long list of chores left to do, she knew she couldn't leave the little pagoda until all of the candles and incense sticks were placed just so – with deliberate, slow care.

 _With good breeding..._

The Fa family had not been of terribly great importance for many generations. They had lived on the same plot of land Mulan and her parents lived on now for many, many years, since her grandmama's grandmama's time and earlier. But they were not nobility. In her father's day, Fa Zhou had won the family some acclaim for his heroic actions during the war, defending the Middle Kingdom from invading Hun armies. He had actually saved his commanding officer – the General's – life, and been granted an award and a medal, as well as an honorable discharge from duty due to the leg injury he had incurred during this daring feat. But aside from her father's local renown, they were not well-known. Mulan knew this meant that her only chance of making a good match was a local boy, whose family knew Fa Zhou's reputation. Mulan sighed at this. If the local boys were the only ones who knew Fa Zhou, they were also the ones who knew Fa Mulan, and how unladylike she was. A good match seemed more impossible every day.

 _And a tiny waist..._

Mulan knew after the story of her time in the army had spread across the Middle Kingdom that no man would want her. It was as the Emperor had said: she had stolen her father's armor, run away from her home, impersonated a soldier, deceived her commanding officer, dishonored the Chinese army, and quite thoroughly destroyed the Royal Palace. In place of all that was the Emperor's gratitude for saving them, of course, which could outweigh all those other things…

Mulan looked in the mirror. Her days in the army had made her tough and strong. She now had muscles where before had been only willowy softness or wiry strength. These new muscles bulged and made her figure unfeminine. Her waist was no longer as slim as it had been, even when her mother helped her pull her sash as tight as possible. She stared at her body in the mirror. For all that it was no longer feminine and beautiful, she didn't wish to change herself. She liked her strength. Even if it made her waist bigger, she did not wish to change a single thing. She turned away from the mirror.

 _You'll bring honor to us all…_

She _had_ brought honor to the Fa family! The Emperor himself had granted her his amulet, and presented her the sword of Shan-Yu. What was more, her Baba was immensely proud of her, and loved her. Mulan reminded herself of these facts when she walked through town, buying what they needed on the farm, and men and women would stare rudely at her as she passed. She didn't need their approval. Her father's and her Emperor's were enough. She simply raised her chin and stared coolly back at the people who gawked at her. She was the Hero of China, and nothing, not even the condescension of her village, would take that away from her.

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Wow! Thanks for reading! Remember to like and review, if you feel so inclined, they really do help me develop as a writer, and motivate me to keep writing. Click next for Shang's side!


	2. Shang

_Hey there! Thanks for sticking with the story! Here, as promised, is Shang's version of growing up in the shadow of idealism. While women today are held to impossible standards by the media, so are men. Remember, we're all beautiful in our own way, and many of the images you see are the work of someone with a camera and Photoshop. Stay amazing._

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 _(Be a man)  
You must be swift as a coursing river..._

"Come on, Shang! Keep up!" shouted his older brother, Yiang.

"Wait for me!" Shang yelled after his brother and his friends, who were running ahead of him and putting more and more distance between them with every stride. Shang couldn't help that his legs were so much shorter than Yiang's, but Yiang didn't have to rub it in his face all the time!

Unable to keep up, Shang slowed to a walk, kicking a stone along that got caught up in his feet. He would never be as fast as Yiang – no one was. Yiang was the fastest runner at school. But it still would have been nice if his older brother would slow down and include him. At least until he was older, and had grown a little taller.

 _(Be a man)  
With all the force of a great tycoon..._

Shang's father would often help Yiang with his fighting out in the courtyard, wrestling and tussling with him. Shang had tried to join in, but his father had refused, claiming Shang was not yet old enough for such rough play. Disheartened, Shang had sat alone under the cherry blossom tree by the small pond in the yard. It was there his mother found him. Hating to see how dejected her youngest looked, she had gone to sit beside him. On that first day, they sat quietly, peacefully, enjoying the mesmerizing movements of the koi in the pond. As time went on, however, and Shang's efforts to join the roughhousing were rebuffed, increasingly they would read together, or talk while his mother did her sewing. Shang still longed to join in the fighting practice with his brother and father, but he came to greatly enjoy this peaceful time with his mother; it made them quite close.

 _(Be a man)  
With all the strength of a raging fire..._

Once again his opponent was able to break out of Shang's hold. Now Shang was getting frustrated. His teacher had told his father that Shang was ready for the next level of karate, but so far, every boy Shang had faced had easily defeated him. They were all bigger and stronger than he was. It wasn't fair! Shang wanted nothing more than for his father to be proud of him, but these boys were much stronger than he, and he had yet to win a fight. Determined, though, Shang maintained his defensive pose, breathing hard, and wearily waited for his opponent's next round of attacks. Maybe this time his strength could at least hold until the teacher called the end of the match…

 _Mysterious as the dark side of the moon..._

When Shang's father realized how much time his younger son was spending with his mother, he pulled Shang aside and censured him. Men, he told Shang, were not to converse with women outside of formal settings, such as meals and holidays. Women, being the weaker sex, should not be privy to a man's thoughts. A man should not be honest or transparent, but rather should always be on his guard. If a man told a woman his true thoughts, he counseled his son, she could use that knowledge as a weapon against him. Women could not be trusted, but had to be conversed with for politeness's sake. Therefore, his father warned him, he must never let his true thoughts be known. It was alright for Shang to confide in another man – men understood other men and were wiser about the ways of the world. But never a woman. It was the last time Shang sat with his mother by the koi pond.

 _(Be a man)..._

Shang gazed around the camp of soldiers. They had come to him barely able to tie the lacings on their armor, and now… now they were the heroes of China. They had stopped the Hun invasion not once but twice, saving the Emperor's own life at the Royal Palace. Well, Mulan had done a lot of it, but he had trained her, and they had worked together for their victory. Shang adjusted the helmet under his arm. It was new – a General's helmet. He was no longer Captain Li Shang. He remembered how proud he'd been to accept that title, and the post of training the new recruits. His father had looked at him with such pride. His father was not here today to see Shang become General Li Shang, but Shang new his father was looking down on him with pride. He was the man his father had always wanted him to be.

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Thank you so much for reading! Please "like" if you liked the story, and if you can, spare a minute or two to leave me reviews/comments. Thank you!

~CopperPrincess


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